Friday, May 20, 2005

Blue Movie Award

Warwick Incest, the internet-based mouthpiece of UH recently reported on our illustrious security staff, who were recently awarded a blue lamp award in recognition of their close co-operation with the local boys in blue in crime prevention on campus.

Hot on the heels of this, it appears that security have found a new past time that doesn't involve maliciously clamping student cars. It appears that they have been misappropriating university CCTV to zoom-in on student bedrooms. Presumably they are hoping to get a blue-movie award for their troubles.

Apparently the University authorities took rather a dim view to this activity, and have asked some of their number to seek alternative career opportunities.

In unrelated news, Clive Dove-Dickson, manager of Cocksuckers supermarket notes that the sacking of security staff coincided with a marked drop in doughnut sales.


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